I got a call from the vice principal of her middle school this afternoon. My first thought was that something had happened to my little girl; she was hurt or got hurt. Then when I heard the tone in the VP's voice, I knew it wasn't the case. Instead, my blood pressure started to rise and I was beside myself.
From what I was told by the VP: my daughter, along with another girl, had pushed another girl and that other girl got hurt. This lead up to taunting and teasing which apparently had been going on for quite awhile. This was not the first incident that occurred, so the vice principal tells me.
My initial reaction was to think, there has to be a mistake. My daughter was not brought up to be a bully and she knows better than to tease and hurt other people, physically and emotionally. And I definitely didn't think she could hurt anyone physically because of her small size. But then, the vice principal said something that reminded me of a movie. He said, "Well you know how these popular girls are...they get into the gossip and drama and sometimes they tend to be mean to each other." Oh no! My daughter, a Mean Girl!! A Plastic!!! It can't be!
I remember high school drama class, me and a really good friend of mind (I'm not going to mention any names....Tamara Bradley) used to make fun of a girl who wore glasses, fairly tall with really pale skin. She had to carry these needles with her just in case she got stung by a bee. I guess she would have gone into anaphylatic shock or something. Well, anyway, every time she walked through the classroom door, we would make a buzzing sound. And of course we would giggle and laugh. She would just sit down at her desk and look away. One time, during a film viewing with the lights off, we started making buzzing sounds again. When the teacher flicked the lights back on, I looked over to the girl and I could have sworn I saw tears in her eyes. I don't remember what happened because this was so long ago, but I do remember the look on her face when the light shown; how painfully hurt she was, emotionally. Girls can be so MEAN!!!
Now, as a mother, I have always taught my children to treat others how they want to be treated. I have spoke to them about bullying and being bullied. For the most part, I felt they understood where I was coming from. For the most part, my daughter has always been really respectful, caring and helpful. Everyone says that about her. I never thought I would have a problem with her being the MEAN GIRL. And I'm not going to have that problem. Although today was unintentional and my daughter and her friend did not take the consequences of their actions into consideration, you best believe that my daughter will know, and be taught, that being plain out MEAN will not be tolerated.
1 comment:
Hi Marie!
I just downloaded and listened to "Odd Girl Out" from Audiobooks.com. You should check out this book. It is so good because it talks about both sides of the girl "relational aggression" as it is called. It explains WHY girls bully and how the targets can be random and often their own friends. The reason it was determined after the author talked to many girls in school settings, was because girls cannot or will not speak up when they have a problem with their peers. They don't want to appear "mean" so they often go underground with their aggressions. I was worth the $7 and 11 hours of listening (I put it on my ipod). You're a good mom to be on top of this! Take Care, Natalie H.
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