Cougarism

I was at a friend's birthday party this evening. She is turning 39. Wow, one more year till 40. Seems so old....if you are looking at it from a 20-some year old's standpoint. My friend doesn't look 39, nor does she act like it. She is very hip and very young at heart. Her husband may have a lot to do with her very young attitude. He's 26. Does that make her a cougar? They are very much in love and great for each other. They have been married since he was 18. Really....18.

O.k. so you are probably thinking, "WTF??" If you ever meet them, you would never guess the big difference in age. He acts very mature for his age and she acts very juvenile for hers. LOL!! (She's probably going to kill me for that statement.) My point is, all though there is a huge difference in number, there isn't a huge difference in personality, goals, passion and love they share for each other. It's amazing to watch them, because they are so in love. And age is not at all a factor.

The whole subject of "cougarism" was brought up by the hostess, the lady whose house they were holding the party at. She herself is in her mid to late 40s, looks great for her age and was totally jamming with the younger, teenage crowd at the party. Although she is married to someone who is relatively her age, she said if she was to do it all over again, she would have no quarrels about dating a much younger man. It's the new thing, its the fad, its the fashion. We went around the whole group that was sitting there and was surprised to find that every couple in that circle was the new the thing, the fad, the fashion, including myself. Of course my husband had no problem on proudly announcing his love for his older wife...me.....grrrr! O.k .I really don't have a problem with it either; it's just the word "older" versus "younger"....grrrr.

Women have come a long way from the traditional homemaker, barefoot and pregnant stereo-type that long has been slapped onto women for centuries. We have now evolved into the money making, career-oriented, super mom and wife. Even professional, single women 35 and up are empowered and love the flexibility of dating younger men.

I wonder: is the increase in older women dating younger men do to the fact that younger men are more open to women bringing home the bacon, having the career, and pretty much being the "boss" of the relationship? Do older women date younger men, because older men are still accustomed to the historical stereo-type of women? Are older men threatened by a powerful, professional women? Could that also be the reason they, themselves seek younger women?

It's funny to hear about older women and younger men. But ironically, it is becoming more and more common. Check out this article and let me know what you think.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/04/05/earlyshow/main2651142.shtml

Interviewing a Criminal About Another Criminal

It's disturbing to read the newspaper sometimes. Majority of the articles are just plain dampering. And sometimes there are articles and interviews that make you think, "WTF?" Like, this morning, I got on NCTimes.com and the first headline I see is an interview from an ex-roommate of accused killer John Gardner. If you don't know, John Gardner has been accused of murdering Chelsea King and Amber Dubois. The girls' remains were found earlier this month.

I have to admit that I started to read this interview. In this interview, statements were made from the ex-roommate, who by the way, is a convicted sex-offender himself, about the personality and day to day life with John Gardner. O.k. I'll have to admit that at first I was intrigued by this interview and wanted to know more about what was going on with this accused child murderer. But then, not even half way through the article, I thought, "I'm reading an interview from a registered sex-offender about another sex-offender." The ironic part of it is that, he gives his opinions and perception on John Gardner as if he had credibility. But then again, what better way to get into the mind of a killer by someone of the like.

I don't know what upset me more: a sex-offender, giving his "professional" expertise, or the media interviewing this guy and letting him have even the slightest bit of fame, though his name was not mentioned. Our world is so twisted.

Me Time vs. Husband/Wife Time

I'm having ME time and I'm loving it. With my encouragement, my husband went out with his friend. He doesn't go out too often and I encouraged him to go out and have fun, to hang out and be a guy. Plus, with him being out, it gives me time to myself.

I love having ME time. It gives me time to think, to relax, to watch the shows I want to watch, to be a woman. Woman need to have alone time; to be away from their significant other at times and not be so "clingy". I love having my own space and love that my husband can also have his own space.

Women tend to cling to their men because of their lack of self-esteem and vice-versa. I think every relationship needs to have time and space once in a while. Being around your significant other 24/7 could drive couples to arguments, contempt, animosity, among other feelings that can arise from being around each other too long. It is almost comparable to people who work together on an everyday basis. There are always tension among co-workers and peers when time spent together weighs more then time they spend doing other things enjoyable.

Couples who take the time for themselves are more likely to survive the ups and downs of a relationship. It's like when you argue. It's best to walk away and come back later when you're head is straight and you are able to talk things through. I'm not a relationship expert or anything, but I know what works with me and what doesn't. Each couple is different and you have to try every venture possible to find out whats right for you.

I love the relationship my husband and I have. We are open with each other, we have our time together and we have our time apart. The time apart makes us miss each other and gives us something to talk about. This works for me..this works for us.

Mean Girls

Today my daughter got suspended for what is called "benching" another girl. I'm not going to go into details about what benching is, but it all seems fairly innocent until someone gets hurt. In this case, someone did.

I got a call from the vice principal of her middle school this afternoon. My first thought was that something had happened to my little girl; she was hurt or got hurt. Then when I heard the tone in the VP's voice, I knew it wasn't the case. Instead, my blood pressure started to rise and I was beside myself.

From what I was told by the VP: my daughter, along with another girl, had pushed another girl and that other girl got hurt. This lead up to taunting and teasing which apparently had been going on for quite awhile. This was not the first incident that occurred, so the vice principal tells me.

My initial reaction was to think, there has to be a mistake. My daughter was not brought up to be a bully and she knows better than to tease and hurt other people, physically and emotionally. And I definitely didn't think she could hurt anyone physically because of her small size. But then, the vice principal said something that reminded me of a movie. He said, "Well you know how these popular girls are...they get into the gossip and drama and sometimes they tend to be mean to each other." Oh no! My daughter, a Mean Girl!! A Plastic!!! It can't be!

I remember high school drama class, me and a really good friend of mind (I'm not going to mention any names....Tamara Bradley) used to make fun of a girl who wore glasses, fairly tall with really pale skin. She had to carry these needles with her just in case she got stung by a bee. I guess she would have gone into anaphylatic shock or something. Well, anyway, every time she walked through the classroom door, we would make a buzzing sound. And of course we would giggle and laugh. She would just sit down at her desk and look away. One time, during a film viewing with the lights off, we started making buzzing sounds again. When the teacher flicked the lights back on, I looked over to the girl and I could have sworn I saw tears in her eyes. I don't remember what happened because this was so long ago, but I do remember the look on her face when the light shown; how painfully hurt she was, emotionally. Girls can be so MEAN!!!

Now, as a mother, I have always taught my children to treat others how they want to be treated. I have spoke to them about bullying and being bullied. For the most part, I felt they understood where I was coming from. For the most part, my daughter has always been really respectful, caring and helpful. Everyone says that about her. I never thought I would have a problem with her being the MEAN GIRL. And I'm not going to have that problem. Although today was unintentional and my daughter and her friend did not take the consequences of their actions into consideration, you best believe that my daughter will know, and be taught, that being plain out MEAN will not be tolerated.

Senior Drivers: To Drive or Not to Drive

I consider myself a very patient driver. For the most part, I'm very cautious and courteous of other drivers. I try my best not to talk on my cell phone unless absolutely necessary, and when I do, I use the speaker phone. I am guilty of driving and texting at the same time. I do admit to that. But again, for the most part, I'm a very safe and courteous driver.

The one thing I absolutely lose my patient over are older drivers aka senior drivers. It is a law that you have to be certain age to attain a driver's license. I think we need a law that states that after a certain age, your license will be revoked. Don't get me wrong, not all senior citizen drivers should be taken off the road, but the majority of them should not be allowed to touch a steering wheel.

Today, while out on my lunch break, a elderly woman, driving a very expensive Audi, was going 30 mph while the rest of the traffic was going 60. So of course I had to honk my horn at her to make her aware that she was holding traffic up; but then again, she probably didn't hear the honking because she was looking over her steering wheel straight ahead like nothing was wrong. O.k. so at this point, I in-haled and ex-haled and went about my merry way.

On my way back to work, I encounterd another slow driver. Now, I couldn't tell at first if it was a senior driver because there was a another car in between us. But he/she did have a handicapp sticker on their license plate. I'm not trying to sterotype here, but the majority of handicapp sticker owners are senior citizens. So, again, slow as a turtle. Sigh. Then, half way up a mile into following this slow driver, another elderly driver, in a Jag, decides to pull out in front of the first elderly driver. So, by now you're thinking, "Oh no. They crashed into each other!" Um, no. They were moving way too slow to do that. But the elderly Jag driver did freak out and decide to stop to avoid from getting hit by the other elderly driver who was only going 15 mph at this point. So, now you're thinking, the elderly Jag driver pulled over to the side to let the passing traffic through. Not likely. Instead, he stops in the middle of the street and everyone behind him had to "slowly" avoid from hitting each other. There was no screeching of tires; remember everyone is still going pretty slow. So finally, after a good 5 seconds of paused traffic, everyone went on their merry way and I'm left frustrated and totally obsessed with the fact that OLD PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING!!!